Mueller will eventually figure out that his gravy train for unemployed liberal bureaucrats can’t chug along forever, because at some point, Trump or whoever replaces Zombie Jeff Sessions, will fire this sad-faced loser after he’s so worn out his welcome that no one outside of MSNBC, CNN, and Joe n’ Mika’s party pad will care. Mueller will release a report that will be full of dark innuendo, unsupported allegations, and hammy clichés about “hacking our democracy,” but free of any actual evidence and indictments related to collusion. Mueller will come up emptier than the Clintons’ marriage.

Still, the usual suspects will call the report a “bombshell,” ignoring the fact that bombs tend to explode and that the term for one that doesn’t is “dud.” Tater Stelter and Rachael Maddow will go into an erotic frenzy nonetheless. The has-been contingent of Never Trump Fredocon geebos will get lots of media hits for a week or two before fading back into their well-deserved obscurity. This time next year, look for David Frum to be begging for a chance to share a cruise cabin with Max Boot on one of Bill Kristol’s voyages around the magical paradise that is Cuba; they can do a panel in the Mermaid Galley about “Why Communism Is Better Than Trumpism.” (Spoiler: The answer is because, with the Trump administration, no one cares about these Conservative, Inc., hacks anymore)