The President of the United States is apparently having a fire sale. The Obama / Biden campaign sent out an email on Saturday with a headline that any internet marketer would love, complete with stars and ALL CAPS. The email subject line is “? Our biggest sale EVER ?” and it promises big big savings of 30% off of everything (minimum order, $10) PLUS guaranteed delivery by election day at the “Last Call Sale.”

But don’t order yet! The commander-in-chief will ALSO give you free shipping! That’s right, America; at these prices, you can’t afford to NOT support reckless, failed policies!