“Today’s fifteen-year-old gay boys have Lady Gaga. I had Ann Coulter,” I told her to laughter, recounting my obsession with her as a high-schooler. She’s a charming, agreeable person. I’m not always pleased when I encounter the person behind the writings I enjoy — David Horowitz, anyone? — but in Ann’s case, I’m happy to report, she is as humorful as her irreverent writing style would indicate.

Her remarks, which probably lasted for no more than ten minutes, came about forty-five minutes into the party. The media have focused on her remarks against same-sex marriage. Paraphrasing, she said: “If you think I’m not going to try to talk you out of gay marriage, you’re kidding yourselves; I went onto The View and attacked single motherhood in front of a bunch of single mothers.”

And indeed she tried. Her argument was essentially this: You conservative gays don’t actually care about this activist crap like marriage, or serving in the military. Ultimately, what you really want is some sort of assurance that Americans are accepting of gays, not marriage itself. Gay marriage initiatives don’t fail because Americans hate gay people; they fail because marriage is fundamentally about rearing children. Most Americans love gay people; they just don’t want that institution extended.