“Once you fall in love with somebody, once they trigger the brain system for falling in love, love is blind, no question about that,” said Fisher, who recently wrote Why Him? Why Her?, which explores the neurological underpinning of romance.
And once people fall in love, they’re essentially at the mercy of the brain’s reward system until the neurotransmitters oxytocin and vasopressin, which are associated with long-term bonding, produce their calming, stabilizing effect.
But before that dizzying dopamine-fueled process even begins, Fisher told Discovery News that people have much more power to decide who’ll receive their affections.
“Love is extremely blind once you’ve chosen your partner, but it’s not so blind while you’re making that choice,” Fisher said. “Basically, this concept of who you choose, it’s like a funnel. At any point, there are breaking points, moments where it’s just not going to work.”
Mate selection — as opposed to being in love — is fairly pragmatic, in fact.