Since Rasheed’s death, I’ve combed through every detail of every memory, searching for clues for what made him leave home to fight in Syria. What had I missed?
The clues were difficult to decipher; their contexts always allowed for other, perfectly innocent explanations. In my quest for answers, I have met families across the world who have experienced the same problems with identifying warning signs. Quite frequently, there is some previous history of mental health trouble, so parents see an increase in agitated behavior, heightened anxiety or social isolation through that prism, rather than as signs of radicalization.
In Rasheed’s case, there was his altered appearance and his decision to attend a different mosque. With hindsight, I should have questioned more his distancing of himself from his usual social group — and, possibly, the watchful eye of his father. Naïvely, perhaps, I had passed off the changes in Rasheed as his exploring and forming an identity away from his parents. It was the biggest mistake and regret of my life. But ask any parent of teenagers: Would you have done better?
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