Two Americas: Elizabeth Edwards scared of Republican neighbor

If the Silky Pony wins in ’08, she would be a pillow away from the presidency. And she lives in utter fear of…some blue collar Republican guy.

Elizabeth Edwards says she is scared of the “rabid, rabid Republican” who owns property across the street from her Orange County home — and she doesn’t want her kids going near the gun-toting neighbor.

Edwards, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, particularly recalls the time neighbor Monty Johnson brought out a gun while chasing workers investigating a right of way near his property. The Edwards family has yet to meet Johnson in person.

Edwards views Johnson as a “rabid, rabid Republican” who refuses to clean up his “slummy” property just to spite her family, whose lavish 28,000-square-foot estate is nearby on 102 wooded acres.

“Slummy.” Maybe after President John Edwards has raised the dead and made the lame to walk through the miracle of overhyped stem cell breakthroughs, he’ll get around to de-slumming the property next door by lifting the America he lives next to, but not in.

Johnson said he has lived his entire life on the property, which he said his family purchased before the Great Depression. He said he’s spent a lot of money to try and fix up the 42-acre tract.

“I have to budget. I have to live within my means,” Johnson said. “I don’t have millions of dollars to fix the place.”

Or, you know, not.

“I thought he was supposed to be for the poor people,” Johnson said. “But does he ever socialize with any poor people? He doesn’t speak to me.”

Johnson said he has put his property on the market, in part blaming the high property taxes for his decision to leave. He also wants to move for another reason.

“I don’t want to live somewhere where someone’s always complaining about me,” he said.

The Edwards family: They’re all about the little guy, even when they’re complaining about him in the press and driving him out of his home.

Update (AP): If I get a little time later, I’ll put together a fundraising page about this for Edwards’s website. From Coulter to the Fox debates to his own wife’s health problems, every misfortune is monetizable in Silkyland!