Goracle single-handedly creates new disease

From the primordial leftwing ooze, Bush Derangement Syndrome arose. Symptoms include accusing President Bush of lying the US into war in Iraq, in the teeth of a mountain of evidence to the contrary.

Then, there was Post Election Stress and Trauma Syndrome, with symptoms including lingering fear, relationship breakups and “communal sadness.”

Now, we have a new lefty affliction: It’s called “eco-anxiety:”

Melissa Pickett, an eco-therapist with a practice in Santa Fe, sees anywhere from 40 to 80 eco-anxious patients a month. They complain of panic attacks, loss of appetite, irritability and unexplained bouts of weakness, sleeplessness and “buzzing,” which they describe as the eerie feeling that their cells are twitching.

“…their cells are twitching…” Or the suffering hippies just need a bath.

Whatever the source of the twitching, I say blame the Goracle who afflicts us all in one way or another:

The fears of the eco-anxious are fueled by abundant media coverage of crises like global warming, collapsed fisheries and food shortages. The Oscar-winning documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” warns that only 10 years might remain to avert a major environmental catastrophe.

Gore is betraying his fellow liberals. He’s playing on their fears. And his earth-healing powers make people sick. If he had a job, he ought to resign. I would suggest that he also purchase extra carbon offsets as penance, but that won’t do since he might end up just paying himself.