What is it with Democrats lately? Hillary! showing up with a fake southern accent in church. Obama showing up with a fake southern accent in a church. Now John Edwards shows up with a real southern accent but a fake Jesus in a church. Whatever they’re drinking at the DNC these days, I don’t want any of it but I hope they all keep swigging away.

Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards says Jesus would be appalled at how the United States has ignored the plight of the suffering, and that he believes children should have private time to pray at school.

Edwards, in an interview with the Web site Beliefnet.com, said Jesus would be most upset with the selfishness of Americans and the country’s willingness to go to war “when it’s not necessary.”

Keep in mind that among the rationales for the Iraq war is that it would alleviate the Iraqi people’s suffering under Saddam. Keep in mind that Edwards chides America for ignoring the suffering of others. Keep in mind that Americans are consistently the most charitable people on the planet. And keep in mind that Edwards thinks the Iraq war, for which he voted, was unnecessary. America ignores suffering even though it leads the world in charity, but goes to war unnecessarily to alleviate suffering, and that’s also bad. Keep all that in mind. Congratulations! You have cognitive dissonance just like John Edwards!

“I think that Jesus would be disappointed in our ignoring the plight of those around us who are suffering and our focus on our own selfish short-term needs,” Edwards told the site. “I think he would be appalled, actually.”

Hm. Who’s ignoring the suffering of the Iraqi people in order to focus on selfish short-term needs, like getting good with the netroots and climbing up a notch or two in the polls? Who has already dismissed the consequences of leaving Iraq too soon, even if it would lead to genocide? Hmmmm?

And then, there’s this, which apparently Jesus would not find appalling at all:

Edwards told Kuo he stood by a decision to keep two bloggers on his staff despite their provocative writings criticizing the Catholic Church. Edwards said he also found the writing offensive, but “decided to forgive them and stand by them, knowing there would be potential political consequences for that.”

“Provocative writings…” That’s putting it mildly, to say the least. That’s a little press bias sneaking into the story. But here’s John Edwards’ Christian theology. Appalling: Ignoring suffering even when you go to war to alleviate massive suffering under a brutal dictator, while your country leads the world in charitable giving. Not appalling: Letting two foul-mouthed haters who can’t go a paragraph without dropping f-bombs or degrading Christians stay inside his campaign.

If that’s what John Edwards’ personal Jesus teaches, he is as confused as Edwards is. I wonder if his hair is as nice.