Here’s my problem. As much fun as it is to make fun of GM for the Volt, I … feel a little sorry for them. Really. Wouldn’t it be sweet if this thing was the middle-class green dream they want it to be? Imagine a sticker price of, say, 15 grand — without the taxpayer-subsidized rebate. Imagine the drop in U.S. oil demand as sales exploded and, er, rickety power grids struggled to cope with skyrocketing electricity use. Imagine they weren’t reduced to gimmicky FX-heavy Super Bowl ads to sell a car that’s supposed to sell itself via its mileage but can’t because it can’t beat hybrids on price. This is the future I dream of, my friends. A RINO candy-ass future.

Six hundred three units sold last month. No typo. Nationwide.

GM sold just 603 Volts – above its sales in January 2011, but far below GM’s best-ever sales month in December, when GM sold 1,529 Volts.

Last week, GM North America President Mark Reuss said sales of the Volt have been hurt by bad publicity.

Reuss said bad publicity from the government’s investigation into fire risks of post-crash Volts is “definitely a component” of the decline in sales.

GM sold about 7,700 in 2011, below GM’s target of 10,000. GM abandoned its sales target of 45,000 for 2012 last month, saying it would match “supply to demand.”

Here’s the ad that’s going to turn it all around. Picture the look of surprise on the faces of blue-collar football fans when they swing by the dealership and find out how much it costs. Obligatory snarky exit question: Why do the aliens seem so amazed here? Because they finally managed to find someone who actually bought one of these things? Or because it’s not on fire?