Petraeus fee-vah is breaking across the land so let’s shoot some crap out the airlock before the day gets going. The reviews this morning are withering, due partly to expectations of more energy for a comeback performance, partly to entertainment journalists having to pulp their fawning, pre-written “she’s back, bitch!” bouquets, and partly because between the botched lip-syncing, sluggish non-choreography, and a little extra junk in the trunk, it … wasn’t good. Not terribly, terribly bad either, but let’s just say it’s hard to conclude after watching that the rehab took. That old separated-at-birth item of mine was more apt than I knew.

At $750,000 a month, she’ll be okay. Click the image to watch.


Update: “Britney Spears aimed to bring the house down when she opened the MTV Video Music Awards, but instead she just looked like a house.”

Update: Let the excuse-making begin.

Update: Heart-ache.