That trapdoor had a sticky hinge but it has, at long last, opened. The producers say they might re-tool it and bring it back, which leaves it in a position not unlike Ralphie in “A Christmas Story” after he was dumped off Santa’s lap and dropped on the slide. Memo to Roger Ailes: Put your boot on its face.

They were there during my darkest hour. Forever shall I see them when I close my eyes.