An absurd statement hides a serious point. Silky insists he doesn’t want to tax food but a trade policy that would force businesses to financially “acknowledge” their carbon footprint would have that effect. The further food has to be shipped, the more transportation is involved, the greater the footprint. Hence Mrs. Silky’s vow to skip the tropical offerings like the tangerine and stick with the fruit of the local vine henceforth. It’s all a question of how much hardcore global warming warriors are willing to personally sacrifice. Carbon ratings on product labels? Eco-houses? Vegetarianism? Vasectomies? When you’re finally growing your own, you’ve reached climate change nirvana.

Exit question: Does this mean they weren’t serving pineapple on that private jet Silky used to get to last night’s debate? Exit question two: Isn’t the real solution here more flying saucers?