My friends, I am reliably informed that there’s an iPhone mention tonight. T-minus 20 minutes and counting.

Update (Bryan): I got mugged by a troll on the way to posting this. Sorry for the delay.

I included Michelle’s smackdown of the immigration lawyer, because it’s priceless. I included the beauty queen in the National Guard, because of its innate hotness. I included Michelle’s batting around Hussein Ibbish, because of its coolness. Any questions? Then on with the show.

Tags: immigration