It speaks volumes that upon hearing of the Japanese breakthrough in thought-controlled technology, this is the first use the western press devised for it. Throw away your remote controls! — and, er, replace them with a two-pound EEG helmet.

Or just take out my brain and put it in a jar. It’d be so much simpler.

Scientists are refining technology which could allow viewers to change channels or switch the set on and off without lifting a finger.

Staff at the Japanese technology giant Hitachi have already succeeded in harnessing the power of thought to make a model train move and believe it is only a matter of time before the same technology can be applied to the TV remote.

The technique, known as optical topography, reads thoughts by measuring changes in blood flow to key areas of the brain.

The computer decodes the signal, working out the person’s intention. It then triggers the remote control – changing the channel or volume or switching it on or off, as desired. This week, Hitachi demonstrated the “brain-machine interface” in action, when a reporter made a model train move through the power of thought.

Exit question: Thanks to the clumsy, cumbersome brainwave skullcap, isn’t this really the Microsoft Surface of handless technology?