A father’s hand must be tender yet firm when correcting children. Or, as I like to call them, “rude, thoughtless little pigs.”

One thing I can’t figure out: How on earth would TMZ have gotten hold of Baldwin’s daughter’s cel phone? Who could have provided them with that disquieting voicemail message?

I guess we’ll just have to wonder.

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Update: Actually, is it really that bad until the very end? The “pig” thing is over the line but otherwise he just sounds an angry dad worried about his daughter. Free Alec!

Update: On the other hand, isn’t this almost as bad as gunning down a bunch of innocent college students?