Has it come to this, my friends? Were weddings not corny enough without dance-floor injections of 1980s popcult nostalgia? I could handle the “Thriller” routine because, after all, there’s a certain endearing goofiness to middle-aged white people trying to pull off vintage Jacko choreography. But “Dirty Dancing”? My mother’s seen it upwards of a hundred times. Your mother has, too. It’s hideous yet insidious, which means we’re looking at serious, serious trend potential here. As I write this, total YouTube views to date are over 135,000. And counting.

What’s next? Brides doing the Jennifer Beals chair routine from “Flashdance”?

Actually, that might not be so bad.

As another man contemplating his doom famously (almost) said: I fear they have awakened a sleeping giant.