Merry Christmas.

in a well coordinated action, 487 bottles of pom wonderful juices were tampered with along the Eastern seaboard in stores like wlld oats, d’agostino’s and food emporiums. those who drink the contaminated juice won’t die like the animals in pom labs, but the diarrhea, vomiting and headaches will hopefully send a strong message that people will no longer allow innocent defenseless animals to be tormented and killed for a health juice and to line the pockets of profiteers who dont have feelings for those weaker than they are.

at pom one week old baby mice are deprived of oxygen and then their brains cut open and rabbits have their arteries severed so they get erectile dysfunction so that pom wonderful can make money off the pain and suffering inflicted on animals inside the pom wonderful labs.

lynda resnik may have thought she designed a wonderful shaped bottle for her pomegranate juice, but the one week old mice and rabbits who scream in pain, don’t think its so pom wonderful. if you want to continue selling juice thats made from the blood of suffering animals lynda, we suggest you come up with a better tamper proof seal.

Sounds like salmonella, which makes sense — there’s precedent for nuts using that as a non-lethal bioweapon.

The FBI hasn’t confirmed it yet but they’re investigating. The message came from a group called the Animal Rights Militia, which seems to be an all-purpose moniker for terrorists of this stripe. A group by that name in the UK has been responsible for letter bombings and grave robbery.

Rather than drone on about it, I’ll offer you this from Penn & Teller’s show, er, “Bulls Hit.” The subject is PETA, which appears to take roughly the same ambiguous stance towards the jihadis in their movement as certain British Islamic groups take towards theirs. Needless to say with any P&T production, content warning.