The verdict’s already in. We’re on to the sentencing phase now. Click and scroll to see the latest. It sounds like her, but the reappearance of “adequite” gives me pause. That was the funniest part of the earlier letter that had everyone laughing at her; a spoofer composing a fake message would find it irresistible. And sure enough, there it is in the very first line.

Plus, Al Gore makes a cameo. The idea of the Gorebot and Lindsay Lohan trying to communicate is comedy gold, which further suggests spoofery. And yet, the e-mail is right — she and he have met. Maybe he’ll use that famous charm of his to help her out with the tabloids, “if we just ASK.”

More starlet fever: Britney apologizes, sort of, for her “newfound freedom” from decency and Jessica Simpson gets chewed out by mama for her disastrous performance at the Kennedy Center Awards. And if you don’t know what that’s all about, fear not. The big A is always “adequite” to the task.

Update: Bette Midler’s had enough of these “wild and woolly sluts.” Woolly? Obviously Bette hasn’t seen the photos.

Update: Greg Tinti notes a little added drama to Midler knocking Spears: they’re set to star together in a film called, errrrr…..