Or rather: “NEW PAGE SCANDAL BREAKING.” Supposedly it’s Jerry Weller of Illinois, who, and I quote, “sort of looks like a leerer.”

This guy‘s hearing things, too.

They want to win this on the issues. But if they can’t do that, they’ll happily win it on child predation.

A win’s a win, but what do we conclude if this pans out and they don’t win big? Like, fifty-seats big? What more would it take for a decisive Democratic majority in Congress? Stock market crash? Bird flu epidemic? How Biblical would these disasters have to be to get the gavel in Nancy Pelosi’s hand?

Dana Milbank told the Olberdouche last night that there are rumors floating around about a 16-year-old girl. Tough break for Dean-o, if so. After all, “IT’S THE HOMOS, STUPID.”

Exit question, per Dean-o: “Are … Republican negros also gay?”