It’s not whether you win or lose. It’s whether you win or lose to game show reruns.

Congrats to the Olberdouche, whose crappy, insulting, unwatchable show has singlehandedly made players of Headline News and CNBC in the cable-news ratings game. The bright spot is, there’s no one left to lose to. He’s exhausted the universe of possibilities, unless Nielsen wants to start measuring him against non-news networks like Home & Garden TV. Which, perhaps, would not be to Olby’s advantage. Would you rather watch a Keith Olbermann special comment or a fat woman explain the best way to tend a cabbage patch? The question answers itself.

Keith spun the ratings as best he could tonight, to the great amusement of Johnny Dollar and Spruiell, who has video. He can’t go on like that forever, though; it’s too easy to mock, and Olby is little more than an anthropomorphized ego as it is. Look for him to downshift smoothly into the Adlai Stevenson explanation as more viewers start abandoning ship.

Incidentally, I noticed quite a few right-wing bloggers falling all over themselves today to denounce the New York Post for mocking Olby’s reaction to the anthrax prank that was played on him. All well and good, but let it be noted that douchebag didn’t respond in kind on tonight’s show to the same prank having been played on Senator John Cornyn earlier today. In fact, the DU had itself a great big chuckle over it this afternoon. Johnny Dollar says he’s seen a certain cable-news host hawking his book on that very same DU website. Can you guess who it is? Here’s a hint: he’s not quite as popular as game show reruns.

Tags: New York