One of them involving exploding molluscs.

That’s not that many, really. I bet Val could come up with 700-800 off the top of his head. Much to the consternation of Cuban-American “moderates.”

Coincidentally, there are 638 possible causes of intestinal bleeding.

As a special treat for Val, check out the comments to HuffPo’s thread on this. All that’s missing is a photoshop of Cuban dissidents in blackface.

Update: His health’s a “state secret.”