When a Russian tells you something’s “worse than AIDS,” he’s not kidding around.

It’s nice to know that this particular yardstick is now safe for polite conversation:

“We have made some mistakes,” he said, referring to recent attacks on Russia’s democracy. “So what? Please don’t put even more obstacles in our way. Do you really think you are smarter than we are?”

The former general secretary of the Soviet Union Communist Party accused Americans of arrogance and trying to impose their way of life on other nations.

“Americans have a severe disease — worse than AIDS. It’s called the winner’s complex,” he said. “You want an American style-democracy here. That will not work.”

In honor of Gorby, and because I need to empty the chamber of dumb stuff before regional war in the Gulf breaks out, here are a few quotes I’ve been saving. Guess the speaker. For extra credit, identify which, if any, are worse than AIDS.

1. “I think the statements of your vice president of this sort are the same as an unsuccessful hunting shot.”

2. “I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I’m not cultured and I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is.”

3. “It seemed like traditional values had been temporarily suspended. I didn’t recognize this country, we didn’t know what year it was and we didn’t know what country we were in.”

4. “There is nothing honorable in your history. You are people of money, prostitution, banks, gold, and petrol. You do all this in order to suck (the blood) of the peoples, and to fight them by means of your knowledge. You, human beings? No way!

You won’t guess the last one because he isn’t famous. I wanted people to see it anyway.

Update: Iowa Voice has multiple Gorbasms.

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