Neither snow nor sleet nor all-out war in the Middle East shall keep Allah from his appointed tabloid rounds.

“Wax” must be one of those Anglo slang terms, like “fag,” that sounds untoward but means something innocuous.

Right?

Police have warned women “intent on getting ratted” to make sure they had waxed and were “wearing nice pants” in case they collapsed.

The advice was contained in a free magazine launched by Suffolk Police which officers say is aimed at keeping women safe when they go out drinking and clubbing…

The magazine includes an article next to a photograph of a scantily clad woman collapsed on the floor.

“For those of you intent on getting ratted this weekend, think,” says the article. “If you fall over or pass out, remember your skirt or dress may ride up.

“You could show off more than you intended – for all our sakes, please make sure you’re wearing nice pants and that you’ve recently had a wax.

“Bath”? “Pedicure”?

Help me out. Please.

Incidentally, when it comes to police concerns about scantily-clad women passing out in front of drunken hooligans, should wayward bikini lines really be job one?

Tags: Middle East