Our president goofs off by buying coffee for reporters, theirs goofs off by sexually assaulting five-year-olds. In public.

There’s a reason they call pedophilia “the Russian malady,” my friends. Well, actually, no one calls it the Russian malady. But they will now.

Like Bush said back in ’01: “I looked into his soul. And saw a child molester.”

Update: Karol would have us believe this isn’t common behavior among Russian men. Uh huh.