Yeah, yeah, I know. But if I don’t link it, someone else will.

Probably fiction, but also probably not far from the truth. Call it “fake but accurate”:

Neither of the letters Mahmoud Ahmadinejad mailed Sunday, May 7, to George W. Bush represents an olive branch – just the reverse: Their writer takes a high moral tone and emphasizes the importance of Islam to mankind and the world. Neither does the Iranian president deign to offer concessions to ease international concerns and the standoff on Iran’s nuclear program.

DEBKAfile’s sources in Tehran obtained access to the first drafts of two separate communications – only one of which Iranian proposes to release to the media.

The private Note trots out the Islamic Republic’s reiteration of its right to develop nuclear energy for purely peaceful purposes and Iran’s greatness as the cradle of human civilization.

The Note intended for release is longer and couched in phrases designed for propaganda effect. Ahmadinejad complains that Iran is anxious for progress in the sciences but is constantly persecuted by the forces of “world arrogance” (i.e. the US and the West).

What else could it say, really? We’re talking about a guy with neo-Nazi fan clubs. “Let’s meet halfway” probably isn’t in the offing.

The good news is, he and Khamenei are on the outs. The bad news is, between the two of them, Ahmadinejad’s the sane one.

Update: NYT shocker: “a meandering screed that proposed no solutions to the nuclear issue.”

American officials said the letter, which was not released, was 16 pages in Persian and 18 pages in an English translation that Iran provided. The officials said the letter offered a philosophical, historical and religious analysis of Iran’s relationship to the West, and asked questions about the cost to the world of the establishment of Israel, while another section asserted that Western-style democracy had failed humanity.

“This letter isn’t it,” Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said in an interview with The Associated Press in New York.

Update: MEMRI introduces us to the Iranian Stephen Colbert. The Iranian Colby gets to do his shtick from a foreign country, via the Internet, instead of to the president’s face at a black-tie function. Fascism takes many forms, I guess.