Let’s come clean and get something straight right off. This is a very dignified website that would never stoop to presenting a post full of double meanings to attract readers, even if it concerns something as provocative, erotic, stimulating and attention-grabbing as, you know, sexual intercourse.

It might come as a surprise to many that about three-in-four adult Americans claim to have sex as the climax of their Christmas celebration.

Maybe it’s just a simultaneous coincidental urge to share the joy of the day. Maybe it’s the eggnog. Or the diamond jewelry. Or simply holiday hormones.

But a new poll reportedly finds that three-quarters of respondents say they do have sex on Christmas day, with nearly half of them so eager to mark the gift-sharing holiday with a coupling that they put it on their calendar.

The survey of 2,000 consenting adults was sponsored  by EdenFantasys, a purveyor of sex toys.

“According to the National Center for Health Statistics,” a company spokesman said, “the months of August and September have the most births each year. This corresponds perfectly with our findings of Americans being quite frisky during the holidays.”

Now, you might suspect that a sex toy company would concoct such data for the mutual satisfactions of its sales teams. But, truth be told, it’s accurate.

While calculations may differ on September or August as the most prolific baby-producing month, they do come out as the most popular birth months. September 9th and 19th, to be exact.

Even a numerically-challenged person who took Algebra twice can quickly count backwards nine months to this week.

Now, you might think that since families tend to gather together for the holidays, this conjunction of familiar people might spoil the intimate moment for amorous couples. Where’s the buzzer? Wrong!

In fact, the risk seems to heighten the excitement for many, having sex in a childhood bedroom (47 percent) or risking a parent walking in at an inconvenient moment (25 percent).

Oft-mentioned alternate sites included behind the Christmas tree, in a childhood tree house, a rental car or even on their parents’ roof, presumably in a Southern state.

Here’s the kinky part: Apparently many Christmas couplers have favorite holiday music to accompany their intimacies. At the top of the list is “Jingle Bells,” followed by, among others, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” and the newly-politically incorrect “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”