To cleanse the palate, I’m 50/50 on whether this is an actual person or a character being workshopped for Mike Judge’s next film. Stealing yard signs is believable. Lapsing into a demonic voice in describing how much you hate Cruz is more believable than it should be. The leather jacket and yellow pants combo is … pushing it, but also vaguely plausible.

But the mustache, on top of everything else? Too much. Too much.

Especially paired with the hair.

The person who filmed it is pretty deadpan, though:

He told Fox News that the incident started after the man in the video cheered on a homeless person for tearing down his sign and “threw a small American flag on the street.”

“As I went to reinstall the sign and flag, the guy decided to walk across the street from our local coffee shop to initiate the confrontation,” Ramos continued. “This culture of intolerance and behavior of aggressive confrontation is getting out of hand. What I want to remind people is that your vote is your voice. No need to go nuts.”

I changed my mind: 40/60 in favor of Mustache not being real.

Although if he is real, no doubt he’s a Betomaniac. Heather Wilhelm knows the breed:

Of the countless head-scratching elements of the O’Rourke phenomenon, one wins handily as the head-scratchingest of all: A troubling percentage of the Betomaniacs I have met in Texas moved here after fleeing places ruined by Beto’s favored policies. These locales are often expensive, increasingly dysfunctional, wildly overregulated, sometimes mystifyingly poop-ridden despite being wildly overregulated (here’s looking at you, San Francisco!), and inevitably run by Democrats. Why does no one seem to make this connection? I don’t know! One hero in Austin has taken to posting stickers around town featuring an image of a giant locust, paired with the following text: “I MIGRATED TO A THRIVING TEXAS FROM A LEFTIST [NIGHTMARE] AND NOW I’M VOTING FOR BETO FOR SENATE.”

Once Texas finally goes blue in a few years, it’ll be Utah or bust for righties looking to find greener pastures. At least the demonic liberal yard-sign-stealers there are clean-cut.

Here’s Cruz himself enjoying one of the many perks of his job in 2018 America.