The headline makes it sound like this is going to be another post about liberal incivility, and it sort of is.
But really, it’s to honor the tweet below, which is low-key one of the stupidest things ever posted online.
Is this evidence that liberals have reached a crass new depth in incivility towards the right or is it evidence that Ron Perlman has some sort of undiagnosed head injury?
Did I ever tell ya about when Harvey Weinstein told me to make sure I shook his hand at a charity event, so I stopped in the mens room and pissed all over my hand, then went straight up to him on the receiving line? I think about that every time lil donnie opens up his KFC.
— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 25, 2018
How many people go their entire lives without having the impulse to piss on themselves, in any context? When was the last time you ran into someone whom you deeply dislike and thought, “I want my urine on him, even if it means having my urine on me first”?
Also, his visceral disgust at Weinstein suggests that he had some idea, if only through the grapevine, of what Weinstein was up to with the women around him. Given the option to call the police, Perlman chose to … piss on himself instead. Not refuse the handshake, not tell Weinstein off. A golden shower right — on himself. You’re left to wonder: How evil would someone need to be for Perlman to sh*t on himself before shaking their hand instead?
What makes this tweet next-level, though, is the bit at the end about Trump and KFC. It’s easy to overlook it while your mind grapples with the image of Perlman hosing himself down in a stall and then extending a moist hand to Big Harv, but how does he imagine POTUS orders fast food? Does he think the presidential limo is pulling up in the KFC drive-through and Trump-hating employees inside are suddenly like, “He’s here — quick, piss in the mashed potatoes”? Can you imagine the aneurysm the Secret Service would have if the president were served food from an unvetted vendor who *knew* the president would be eating it?
Every time I read it I find new layers. Here’s another one. Of all the ways a Trump-hater might fantasize about seeing the president pwn3d, from impeachment to losing in a landslide in 2020 to petty snubs like heads of state refusing to meet with him or sports teams refusing to visit the White House, how do you arrive at a scenario in which Trump ends up eating chicken soaked in piss? We’re talking about the most famous, powerful man in the world, subject of millions of grandiose wishes for good and ill every day. Perlman’s wish: How can we get some human urine into his KFC bucket?
POTUS has to reply to him on Twitter. If Jimmy Fallon’s worth 30 seconds of “executive time,” one of his critics publicly copping to peeing on himself is worth at least a minute.