To cleanse the palate. In the annals of grotesque statuary misfires, I’d rank this as slightly worse than genetic-mutation Cristiano Ronaldo and slightly better than psychotic Lucille Ball.

Although there’s a case to be made that it’s worse than both. The Ronaldo and Ball atrocities at least are true to the genders of their respective subjects.

This plaque looks like Rex Ryan with a hormone problem.

https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/998941932800921600

Never mind the gender-bending, which, while odd, is at least in vogue. Why is a soccer player apparently wearing a parka, particularly one who’s remembered for a moment when she had no shirt on at all?

Some see Nick Nolte in the plaque, which is defensible but for one thing — the horsey, piano-key teeth. We all know who inspired this image.

So many things had to go wrong to make the plaque that bad. If only the hair had been long and recognizably female. If only it didn’t seem like all 32 teeth were somehow showing in that smile. If only the subject didn’t seem slightly and inexplicably cross-eyed. It has to have been deliberate sabotage. There’s a story here.

Per the San Fran Chronicle, one patron at the unveiling of the plaque (which marked Chastain’s induction into the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame) has already said he’ll pay to have a new one made. Imagine producing a work of art so bad that immediately upon its unveiling people are volunteering to pay to have it replaced.