“This guy talks like someone moved his desk to the basement and took his red stapler,” says Jonah Goldberg.

When I saw his first “Cocaine Mitch” ad a few days ago I assumed Don Blankenship was another Basil Marceaux, a novelty candidate famous for what could charitably be called “eccentricity.” In fact, Blankenship used to run a coal company. A big one. He’s a wealthy populist with dubious ethics who can’t stop mumbling about “China people” and in a sane country wouldn’t be within 50 points of high elected office.

What I’m trying to say is, I think he’s our next presidential nominee.

If you don’t understand the part about McConnell’s “China family,” it’s a reference to the fact that McConnell is married to Transportation secretary Elaine Chao. This isn’t the first time Blankenship’s brought that up, either. He noted recently in an interview that Chao’s father is a “wealthy Chinaperson,” then defended his language at a GOP Senate debate by claiming that he himself was an “Americaperson.” He hates McConnell because McConnell’s been funneling cash into West Virginia trying to knock him back in the three-way primary that’s happening there — successfully, as it turns out, as Blankenship has slipped to third place in more than one recent poll. Cocaine Mitch has an idea in his head that a guy who’s been to prison for violating mine safety standards that left a body count is an electoral disaster in the making of the Roy Moore variety. That is, he’s highly likely to lose to a beatable Democrat in the general election (in this case, Joe Manchin). And even if wins in his very red state, he’s apt to embarrass the party nationally once he’s in the Senate.

So McConnell and his shadowy band of cocaine-peddling Chinahumans are trying to take him out. One McConnell aide even accused Blankenship of being mentally ill, a charge Blankenship repeats in the clip above just as the “what to say in your political ad” playbook calls for. Possibly more significant than the fact that McConnell has anti-endorsed Blankenship, though, is the fact that Donald Trump Jr has as well. “I hate to lose. So I’m gonna go out on a limb here and ask the people of West Virginia to make a wise decision and reject Blankenship! No more fumbles like Alabama,” he wrote. Kiss of death?

Incidentally, if Blankenship’s looming political demise doesn’t want to make Cocaine Mitch snort a few extra lines in celebration, this data from Morning Consult might:

When Morning Consult asked voters in each state separately whether their senator deserves reelection or whether “it’s time for a new person,” not one state of the 10 tested with Democratic incumbents favored reelection. Nine favored a new person; in Montana, Jon Tester’s home state, voters split 43/43. Meanwhile, a Democratic pollster is warning the party that their midterm momentum has “stalled” because they’ve begun to drift from economic messaging. Long story short, if trends continue, the election night party on McConnell’s Chinese luxury junk is going to be a total snowstorm. All the quality yeyo and hot Chinafemales you could imagine.