Many observers have long worried about the possible side effects of the CERN Large Hadron Collider, speculating that it might cause anything from explosive discharges to the creation of microscopic black holes which would eventually devour the Earth. What they didn’t anticipate was the momentary opening of a temporal portal, through which fell the mostly charred remains of a book allegedly published in 2119. It was simply titled, “A Brief History of the Boycotocracy, 2014-2028.”

The following are excerpts from a few of the remaining legible pages.

… in the Free Socialist Alliance of North America, most of the southern section of the continent was taken up by the country formerly known as the United States. Originally a colony of the portion of the European Union named England through the 20th century, it had risen to the status of a global military and economic superpower. While no other nation state was able to challenge them militarily in the early years of the 21st century, internal discord between groups frequently identified either as “liberals and conservatives” or “socialists and capitalists” was undermining their entire system.

The origins of the Government by Boycott movement appear to have sprung up in 2012, when local protest groups were able to convince employers and retailers to shut down operations on a regional level, affecting decisions made by municipal governments. The movement gained global attention in 2016 in what was then known as the state of North Carolina, located on the Atlantic coast. The passage of a law having something to do with public bathroom usage resulted in a political movement which quickly gained traction.

Due to constantly shifting alliances of various ideological persuasions, it was difficult, if not impossible for opponents of the bathroom measure to win elections and topple the supporters of these laws from power. It was also not feasible to conduct an actual “boycott” of the state or federal government. But the protesters who filled the streets eventually realized that an alliance of powerful economic entities, primarily located on the nation’s Atlantic and Pacific coasts, could be persuaded to refuse to do business in the state.

A professional sports association canceled a major tournament which historically brought a great deal of commerce to the region. Some large manufacturers and trade organizations refused to hold conferences in the state’s largest city out of fear of being shunned by significant numbers of socialist consumers. [Name of city still under debate, as signage in the ruins of the urban center provide conflicting and frequently illegible indicators.] This had the effect of essentially holding the state government hostage as employment declined and unrest among the citizens grew. After great turmoil, protests and counterprotests, the resultant economic damage caused the elected government to eventually change their laws to suit the demands of their socially sensitive corporate masters.

The movement seemed to go dormant briefly until 2017 when an obscure special election in the region formerly known as the state of Alabama was scheduled to replace an elected official who had taken a new job. A candidate was nominated who was considered odious to the liberals and they restarted the boycott movement with a more grandiose goal. Commerce in Alabama would, by most estimates, be shut down to the point where the population dropped precipitously owing to the lack of employment and basic necessities. The candidate was subsequently defeated, but that moment created a great awakening among activists who realized they no longer needed to control the levers of government power in order to restructure society.

The Boycott movement, flush with the heady power they now possessed, went on to replace several more members of the legislative branch of the nation’s government from 2018 through 2020, all members of the majority political party named the Republicans. Somehow, though, they failed to stop the reelection of the powerful capitalist, billionaire President, Donald J. Trump in 2020…

In 2021 the situation came to a head. The Boycott organizers shut down virtually all commerce in states which had voted for President Trump. After roughly nine months the country was on the verge of a new great depression. It grew to a crescendo in October of that year, later believed to have been known as “Red October” due to all of the bloodshed in the streets as well as something related to the nation’s naval submarine service. The leaders of the two bodies of the legislative branch (referred to in contemporaneous texts as the “House Majority Leader” and the “Senate Majority Leader”), though both members of the President’s political party, agreed to invoke an obscure clause from the 25th Amendment to the country’s constitution and remove Trump from office. Then, over the course of three days of frantic voting, they removed the 46th President, Michael Pence, the 47th President, former Speaker Mike Lee, and then, in succession, the 48th through 61st Presidents until the 62nd President of the United States, former Secretary of Veterans Affairs, David Shulkin was sworn in.

After taking the pledge, with representatives of the Boycott movement watching closely, Shulkin (a member of the opposition Democratic Party) swore to eliminate any remaining members of the Republican Party “by whatever means necessary in order to restore economic normality and end the boycotts.”

When the United States military finally took over control of the government in the spring of 2024 and installed a commission of Boycott organizers as the pro-tem ruling body, everyone agreed it was for the best. The ensuing collapse of the nation’s formerly vibrant economy opened the door to negotiations between the former nations of Canada and Mexico in the early 2030s to…