How is it that this loathsome left-wing Internet tradition persists, year after year, despite endless mockery from the right and awkward silence from lefties who realize how tremendously irritating it would be to have your cousin start speaking to you at the dinner table like she’s Debbie Wasserman Schultz in the spin room after a debate? Year in, year out, a day or two before Thanksgiving, you can count on Democratic party hacks or their fellow travelers to crank out a “How to talk to conservatives at the holiday dinner table” piece, usually in the form of virtual flash cards in order to make the rehearsal process easier. Nobody likes this. Nobody really uses these sites. (Do they? Have you ever had a relative shift from normal conversation to suddenly sounding like Ezra Klein on a Brookings panel at Thanksgiving dinner?) And yet, each year, like clockwork, here we are. Is it a pure mindless holiday tradition at this point, like New Yorkers dragging giant balloons of the Katzenjammer Kids down Broadway? Is it some elaborate hazing ritual for progressive interns, like rookies having to carry the other guys’ luggage on sports teams? “Sorry, Deanna. You’re doing the Thanksgiving flash cards this year.”
The takeaway from these sites is that liberals are so cloistered from interaction with conservatives and so insecure in their own basic political beliefs that they actually need to be prepped before the most basic social engagement with the enemy. If you think that’s a good look for your movement, you do you.
Here’s the DNC’s latest variation on the theme. What if your dumb Republican uncle suggests that the president’s executive amnesty for illegals is an executive amnesty for illegals?
How should you, as a sheltered buffoon who needs arguments spoonfed to you, respond? Here’s how: By defending the president’s right to violate the Constitution and grab power from other branches so long as he’s doing it for stuff that liberals like.
And what if your dumb Republican uncle says he likes how plainspoken Trump is?
That calls for some persuasion to the contrary. And what better way to persuade someone than to try to bitterly shame him, a tactic that’s worked on exactly zero Trump supporters since the start of the summer?
Follow the link to the site and you’ll see there are little smiley face/grouchy face icons next to each answer, to help guide the reader in case he’s an imbecile who can’t otherwise figure out which line he’s supposed to deliver.
Here’s my favorite, though. Your dumb Republican uncle says:
To which you should say, “C’mon, you’re not a Republican.”
In lieu of an exit question, enjoy Ace’s suggestions for some “Thanksgivingmanship” of your own on Thursday and the Free Beacon’s satire of the sort of Republican cartoon character liberals have in mind when they assemble these dopey, soulless political combat websites. Pipe down and eat your turkey, jackholes.