I can’t decide whether this is stupidly bizarre, or bizarrely stupid. A woman tried to hire a hitman to kill her ex-boyfriend in order to keep him from filing a paternity suit. As usually happens, anyone dumb enough to try this gets linked up not to a bona fide button man but with the police — or in this case, the FBI. Why the feds? The woman was dumb enough to send text messages to a co-worker to find a killer for hire:

Hiring a hit man is dumb enough, but why would anyone leave an electronic trail by using e-mail, text messages, Twitter, or anything else? Sending a text message that says “I need to find someone to kill my ex-boyfriend” is equivalent to spray-painting it on your garage door. No amount of “alibys” will help when the police start checking the records.

Somehow, I think the children will do better away from Mom in this case.