Yes, technically it’s old, but it’s new to me which makes it new for HA’s purposes. Why, oh why, must our game shows reek when the Japanese are churning out material as brilliant as Human Tetris and Moron Treadmill? The closest we’ve got is Fear Factor, which retains the humiliation component but swaps out silliness for squeamishness; it’s like replacing sugar in a cheesecake recipe with … salt. The unique charm of the Japanese shows, I think, is how haphazard and impromptu they seem, with the contestants seemingly pulled off the street, outfitted with helmets, and told to hop to it. It’s like Nickelodeon for adults. Are there enough kids, stoners, and basic idiots like me to make one of these a ratings winner in America? Hell yes. The demand is there; where’s the supply?

Speaking of recipes, here’s the comedy-gold viral vid I almost gave you instead of this one. Number 11 on all of YouTube today at last check. Something for the, er, ladies.