Yeah, but who’d believe a filthy terrorist’s filthy mouthpiece?

In this case? Me, that’s who.

Fugitive Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar is alive and well and living in Pakistan under the protection of the Pakistan intelligence agency, according to the captured spokesman for the Taliban, Mohammad Hanif.

Hanif was captured in Afghanistan yesterday, and today the Afghan government released video footage of him in which he claims to know the location of Omar.

“He is living in Quetta,” says Hanif, “and the ISI [Pakistan’s Inter-Services Intelligence Agency] is protecting him.”

They’ve probably got him under “house arrest,” so that he can’t get to Musharraf — and we can’t get to him.

According to secret U.S. military documents purchased by ABC News from an Afghan in front of Bagram air base, the spokesman’s telling the truth about his location.

Update: From the Guardian, May 19:

Colonel Chris Vernon, chief of staff for southern Afghanistan, said the Taliban leadership was coordinating its campaign from the western Pakistani city of Quetta, near the Afghan border. “The thinking piece of the Taliban is out of Quetta in Pakistan. It’s the major headquarters,” he told the Guardian. “They use it to run a series of networks in Afghanistan.”

The Afghan president, Hamid Karzai, echoed these comments by accusing Pakistan of arming the insurgents. “Pakistani intelligence gives military training to people and then sends them to Afghanistan with logistics,” the Pakistan-based Afghan Islamic Press news agency quoted him as saying…

“It is absolutely absurd that someone is talking like this. If the Taliban leadership was in Quetta we would be out of our minds not to arrest them,” said a spokesman, Major General Shaukat Sultan. “They should give us actionable intelligence so that we can take action.”

And here’s a fun rumor about Hanif’s capture, for what it’s worth: according to the governor of the Afghan province where he was caught, packets of anthrax were found with him.