The feds won’t do it, especially now that our pro-amnesty president has a pro-amnesty Congress to work with. The states are famously bad at it, so bad that Texas itself is resorting to asking people to watch its own border on webcams that hardly ever work. I’ve tried watching them. Several times. They hardly. ever. work.

So Farmers Branch, near Dallas and hundreds of miles from the border, is taking matters into its own hands.

Council members in Farmers Branch unanimously approved tough new anti-immigration measures Monday evening, including one that makes English the official language.

In a series of 6-0 votes, the council members also approved fines for landlords and businesses that deal with illegal immigrants, and allowed local authorities to screen suspects in police custody to see if they are in the country illegally.

The votes were made in a room in City Hall packed with people who clapped as the votes were tallied in favor of the measures. In a parking lot outside, hundreds of protesters against the rules hoisted American flags and sang the Pledge of Allegiance in English before the votes were taken.

“Moderate” LULAC won’t take this lying down. But that doesn’t mean the council didn’t entertain a comedian or two:

Attorneys with the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, a civil rights advocacy group, told city council members during the closed meeting that the proposals could violate federal law.

Don’t illegals violate federal law by traipsing across the border? Funny how these Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund types never mention that.

The measures make it illegal to rent to illegal aliens. Who, of course, shouldn’t even be there. According to reports on the ground that didn’t make it into the local media’s accounts, LULAC is basically threatening to sue Farmers Branch into the ground over these laws, both to make it rescind its laws and to teach other US cities and towns a lesson: Don’t mess with illegals, or we’ll use your own courts to destroy you. At the same time, the children of illegals are registering to vote (they’re citizens) and, thanks to the dishonest pro-illegal campaigns that have been waged across the country in the past year, think they’re voting to protect their parents’ rights. To break the law.

Got a headache yet?

Update: Sheesh. “I am here illegally. They wouldn’t take me in.”