Uwe Boll would be the natural choice to direct but the trailer’s far too compelling to have his fingerprints on it. I held it together for about a minute, until “Find a 1 on a corner? IT’S A MINE.” And that was it for me.

Stolen shamelessly from Ace, about whose list of “guy movies chicks will watch” I’ll say only this: any woman who can’t appreciate “Evil Dead II” isn’t worth dating.