I want to see Goofy in a suicide belt, but it’s not going to be Goofy, is it? It’s going to be Donald, of course. Hot-tempered, given to spouting incomprehensible gibberish, upper-middle-class by virtue of his Uncle Scrooge’s wealth — he’s a model jihadi.

If I’m wrong and it turns out to be Bugs, I say we invade.

Exit question: Will we also be treated to indoctrination videos of Huey, Dewey, and Louie?