It’s simply too delicious to be true. The dogfaced, hook-handed icon of British Islamism, forced to coexist with a flamboyant male caretaker? That’s not a news article; that’s a sitcom. But the Mirror says it’s true and we all desperately want it to be true, so true it is!

Savor the rich, nougaty justice of a fascist who shrieked about “tolerance” and “multiculturalism” to defend his incitements to murder being forced to practice a little of what he insincerely preached. He’s still preaching it, in fact:

[T]he cleric is claiming it is against his religion and human rights to be treated by a homosexual. The source said Hamza’s solicitor wrote to the governor demanding his client is given a new regular nurse.

The prison service refused saying it does not discriminate on grounds of sexuality.

The source said: “The nurse is upset about it. He has spent the last couple of years doing everything for Hamza, even wiping his bottom.

“It shows how little respect Hamza has for others. The nurse dresses him, washes him, cleans his teeth, cuts his toenails, trims his beard and applies ointment for his skin disorder.”

Supposedly the nurse is openly gay and has a “camp” voice. Your quote of the day: “Officers at Belmarsh jail are said to be surprised Hamza, 48, has not noticed before.”

Exit question: Is there any possibility of common ground here? Exit answer: Perhaps.

Update: This is old, I think, but also too good to check. Sugiero sends it with the tagline, “He had an eye for the ladies!”

HOOK-handed cleric Abu Hamza cheated on his first wife with a HOOKER, The Sun can reveal.

And it was the fall-out from his fling that transformed terrorist “recruiting sergeant” Hamza — jailed for seven years yesterday — into a religious fanatic.

Jurors at his Old Bailey trial heard the menacing Muslim preacher declare: “Every brothel is a target, everybody who endorses them is a target.”

At the time of his affair Hamza, now 47, was in his 20s, wed to Briton Valerie Fleming and working as a bouncer at a sleazy club.

His guilty secret was revealed by a Sun investigation. And Valerie, 51, said: “I can confirm that one of the reasons our marriage broke up was my husband’s infidelity with a prostitute.”