See, Bryan thought he was going to play the trump card on me with the freaky deaky Japanese baby robot. A stunning ploy, my friend — one which, I confess, left me reeling. But once I recovered, I knew I had to go out there and reclaim my throne by finding the freaky deakiest robot of all. And so I have.

Meet “Kansei,” a robot so freaky that not only does he resemble a bloodless, severed, yet somehow reanimated head, he actually grimaces like a moonbat at the word “Bush.” It’s Decapitated Moon-bot!

I look forward to him haunting my dreams for the next three months.