Sheryl Crow's solution to deforestation: Wipe with one square of TP

Green earth = brown hand!

Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who’s judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.”

Hey, it’s “think globally, act locally,” not “think globally, act locally except for your pooper.”

Exit question one: Just how, um, tidy are Sheryl Crow’s evacuations that one thin square of toilet paper is enough to do the trick? You think the Goracle gets by with one? Exit question two: Does Barbara Boxer have a “spiritual … obligation” to follow Crow’s advice?