Coming soon: Nobel Peace Prize winner Al Gore

He’d be the first cyborg to win the award. It’ll look great up there on the mantle next to his Oscar for Best Social Consciousness.

I’d say he’s the favorite. He’s got competition from a local boy who brought calm to Indonesia and of course you can’t count out the Chinese Muslim, who, after all, belongs to a religion founded on peace. But they can always get it later. There’s an election coming up in America and nothing would put wind in the Gorebot’s sails among the left like a head pat from one of the international community’s most august institutions. It’d be an A++ on John Kerry’s “global test.” The Committee’s got a track record for playing politics with the award, too. Remember back a few years ago when they tweaked Bush by giving it to Jimmy Jew-blamer?

Exit question: Where precisely is the junction between awareness of global warming and peace?