Heart-ache: U.S. soldier cops to playing "Happy Flowers" during Iraq interrogations

On the Heart-ache-ometer, I’d say it falls somewhere between fake menstrual blood and Korans being pretend-flushed down toilets.

Important detail: one of the band members calls himself “Mr. Anus.”

The triggerman was within 50 meters of a house. We go to the house and of course the gentleman living there has seen nothing. We had questioned this guy before and not gotten any information so this time, we put him in the Humvee, tell him we are taking him with us and start playing “Mom, I Gave the Cat Some Acid” over and over.

After about an hour of Happy Flowers and being told that we don’t want to take him, and that if he would tell us what he knows we will take him back home, he finally tells us who the triggerman is, where we can find him, where other bombs are hidden and ID’s 3 corrupt policemen. All without having to threaten, imprison, or break any of our rules of conduct.

Remember when Steve Harrigan got waterboarded just to see if he was man enough? Well, here you go; you can thank Jim Treacher. Click the image to listen.