Hezbollah targets Israeli collaborators

Odds are they won’t be getting any trials.

Don’t worry, though. UNIFIL is on the case:

The wheelchair-bound Lebanese man had already been stuck just inside the Israeli side of the border for four hours and the Hezbollah intelligence men were ready to take matters into their own hands.

With only a half-full bottle of water with him and Israeli authorities apparently not willing to accept him inside Israel, time was fast running out for the would-be defector.

“There are negotiations going on between our higher-ups in Naqqoura [the southernmost Lebanese city on the Mediterranean coast before Israel and a major UN base] and Israel, but until the Israelis tell us they don’t want him and allow us to bring him back, there’s nothing we can do,” said an Indian United Nations peacekeeper.

Next to a UN jeep, the Hezbollah intelligence men had parked their aging white Mercedes. One of them had flattened himself behind the chassis and was watching the Israeli side through binoculars.

If you come with me, we’ll go in and get that m*********r back,” another Hezbollah man told a member of the international press. “They won’t shoot at a journalist,” he whispered in an aside in Arabic to his colleague.

No word on what happened to the poor guy.

Also, they left out a “*” in “m**********r.”

It’s my job to notice these things.