Report: Osama had a "paramount desire" for Whitney Houston

Not one word in the comments expressing skepticism about this. I mean it. For purposes of this blog, now and forevermore, this one’s capital-T red-front True, baby.


The dark lord of jihadism, sporting a rod for a crackhead American pop singer? What?

It is, quite simply, the greatest gossip item ever.

These Page Six items tend to disappear quickly so I’m reprinting the whole thing. I think God would want me to.

Osama bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States – the world’s most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he’s even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.

Kola Boof, 37, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden’s sex slave, writes in her autobiography, “Diary of a Lost Girl,” which is excerpted in the September Harper’s: “He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.”

Boof – who wrote for the soap opera “The Days of Our Lives” until she was axed last month – continues, “He said that he had a paramount desire for [Houston] and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting.”

Boof says bin Laden couldn’t stop talking about his favorite singer and had lofty plans for her. “He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives.”

But bin Laden’s murderous side also emerged in his fantasies about the pop superstar. “[He would say] how beautiful she is,” Boof claims, “what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband – Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens’ husbands killed.

“In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston’s name,” Boof writes.

But as much as bin Laden adored Houston, he was also dismissive of black women. “African women are only good for a man’s lower pleasures,” bin Laden supposedly said. “What need do you have for a womb?”

And Boof writes that the 9/11 terror mastermind detested her hairstyle. “Why do you wear your hair braided?” he fumed, telling her that “only monkeys” did that.


You have to admit — it does sound like him.

Poor Bobby Brown, though. Doesn’t he have enough problems?


If Osama’s going to ogle one of ours, we’re going to ogle one of his:


Actually, she’s one of ours, too.

And depending upon her politics, I’d say she’s pretty well qualified to host Vent.

Update: The greatest love of all.

Update: E.M. Zanotti: “Suddenly, his plan to contaminate all of the crack cocaine makes sense, in a sick and twisted Romeo-and-Juliet if-I-can’t-have-her-aint-nobody-gonna sort of way.”

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