I managed seven beers over three hours, which sounds pathetic until you realize they were Amstels.

Which sounds really pathetic.

Hey. Even Ted Williams struck out sometimes.

It’s the worst way to drink, of course. All the calories with only a diffuse, low-grade buzz to show for it. If you’re going to do it that way, you might as well skip the booze entirely and just load up on Quarter Pounders at McDonald’s.

Seven beers over three hours comes to .09. Not quite as drunk as Mel, but close enough for preliminary findings.

I report having felt no anti-semitic impulses during my inebriation, aside from an occasional fleeting doubt about whether Israel’s strategy in Lebanon is working and an ill-advised e-mail I sent to Ace with the subject line “Are you a Jew?” in which I addressed him repeatedly as “sugar tits.”

I also spent some more time looking at that Day By Day cartoon, but I was doing that for the better part of the day yesterday, too, so I don’t think it’s significant.

Incidentally, does anyone know if Chris Muir does private commissioned work? I bet he gets some … interesting offers.

Oh, I also stumbled upon this cartoon, which struck me as profoundly offensive in its moral equivalence. But maybe it was the beer talking. Click the image for the full-sized version.

I leave you with one of my blog heroes, Dean Barnett, lamenting the decline of one of his blog heroes. It’s related to Mel Gibson, albeit only obliquely.