Breaking: Mel Gibson enters rehab

Just across on CNN. Shrewd. Disney won’t want to be seen as kicking him when he’s down.

The inevitable weepy all-is-forgiven with Diane Sawyer is right on schedule.

The LA sheriff’s office said today that the D.A. will review its handling of Gibson’s arrest. I know just the man for the job. He’s famously diligent, his integrity’s beyond reproach, and he has a knack for prosecuting people unfavorably disposed towards Jews.

I think the sheriff should hire Glenn Greenwald for his defense. Or Rick Ellensburg, or Thomas Ellers. Or even Wilson.

Or just hire them all and have his own little dream team.

Hollywood executives are outraged at Gibson’s remarks, although not quite outraged enough to go on the record:

Although many of the town’s senior executives are Jewish and Hollywood has a long history of supporting Israel and Jewish causes, there was no widespread public condemnation of Gibson’s comments over the weekend. Although some high-level executives privately expressed dismay at the statements attributed to Gibson after his arrest, none of those contacted would speak on the record.

“Apocalypto” isn’t the only project Gibson’s working on with Disney. The other one’s a miniseries for ABC about … well, just go look. In this version, Hitler’s an alcoholic who goes on a 12-year bender. He finally sobers up in May 1945, and boy is he surprised.

I hate myself for it, but I really want to see “Apocalypto.” It looks like “Aguirre, Wrath of God,” and I’m a sucker for Herzog stuff. But I don’t want to give this jackass any of my money. What should I do? Download the Torrent bootleg or buy a ticket and make a donation to the ADL?

Update: Hitchens answers the bell: “One does not abruptly decide, between the first and second vodka, or the ticks of the indicator of velocity, that the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion are valid after all.”

Update: The D.A.’s investigation could prove more interesting than expected: turns out Gibson has been stopped twice before for reckless driving. And each time they let him go.