Styles of the Times: Old Gray Lady ain't what she used to be

(AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)

Good grief. It’s as if the New York Times weren’t content with making a total laughingstock out of themselves last week. You know, with their ardent appeal to ban 12 gauge AR-15s.WHUT.

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THIS week they have to go whole end-o-year hog, and outdo even that. Yessir, the arbiter of fashion in New York has made themselves a list of the most stylish whatevers (literally), and I am willing to lay money that this is the real reason the kiddos working there walked out on Thursday. It’s was all too damn embarrassing to take any more for what they’re getting paid.

They’re right.

No one should have to put up with an organization that stoops to printing THIS:

Stylish“?!

Have questions? Indeed we do. *blink blink* If Senator-elect Fester Fetterman made the cut on a list whose title purports to use criteria that I have correctly remembered the definition of

…and Senator Fester doesn’t resemble in the least, well – what in the Sam Hell are we talking about here?

93 MOST STYLISH ‘PEOPLE’ OF 2022
Or is it Styles-ish? Either way, when anthropologists look back on this year, they’ll be glad to have this list.

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Gads. They’re so giddy! Although I may give them the point about anthropologists. Those future professionals are going to be fascinated.

NYT screengrab

A friend fact-checked them on this right out the box.

So much for the ‘too cool for Carhartt school’ vibe. Either they’ve never paid attention to Tester or he doesn’t have the edgy vibe Fetterman does (I’ll bet he doesn’t have that wife…). And Montana to this bunch? Gack, unless it’s vacation skiing because Telluride or Aspen was booked.

What other sartorial disasters will the Times foist on us, trying to force us to believe that their august presence and gravitas is enough to declare damn near anything “stylish”?

…Equal parts stylish and Styles-ish, the “people” on this list — who are presented in no particular order — include politicians and celebrities and athletes and influencers and fictional characters from TV and film. Some of them appeared in the Styles section this year. Others simply captured our attention.

Love them or hate them, all have at least one thing in common. At some point over the past 12 months, they made us talk: about how we dress, how we live and how we choose to express ourselves. We welcome dissent. But we are, without a doubt, correct.

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Let me dig through real quick and see…oh, come on – Lizzo?

When the singer wasn’t pulling out a flute on red carpets, she was playing a crystal one made for President James Madison in 1813 — and designing (and modeling) a new shapewear collection, Yitty.

You knew this clothes horses had to make it. It’s the only thing he does. Eric Adams, mayor of New York City is a swagger bag, all right, and not much else..

Call it “swagger” (as he has), call it style: Either way, there’s no denying the Party Mayor’s got it, along with a closet full of impeccably tailored suits.

Eric Adams
AP Photo/Frank Franklin II

They have a freaking bug on the list – the spotted lantern fly. Very big and splashy colors.
Now KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Have you all seen that Timothée Chalamet guy? He’s right up their style alley.

His fashion foreplay — going shirtless at the Oscars, and backless in a red halter top at the Venice Film Festival — wasn’t camp, it was cool.

More of the same fawning over cross-dressing men, trans women, very large people in very small bits of fabric, bugs, sunglasses, and Harry Styles in sequined jumpsuits (I have no idea what he does.).

Whatevs.

Oooo! Joe Burrows! How did a working-class, All-American guy sneak into this thing? Plus Queen Elizabeth II and Princess Anne. Cleansing breaths there.

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In any event, the Times is quite proud of themselves for this ever-so-clever mishmash of ghastly and/or gauche people and/or things.

The people, characters, telescope and bug on this list were chosen from an initial pool of some 200 entries submitted by Styles staff members. The larger pool was winnowed down by a group of editors and reporters in meetings and video calls that were not without passionate debate. To those who did not make the cut, 2023 is just a few weeks away — and we’ll be watching.

And “winnowed down” is the wrong phrase for only cutting a number in half, dudes.

Or are you trying to imply you put some thought into this to cover for giggling about the massive troll you just pulled?

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