“I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican.”
“Generally speaking, just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t make them crazy or evil.”
Three guesses and the first two don’t count
Not from The Onion
“There was no club at a Jesuit school about young fascists.”
“Mohamed has been utterly crushed by the Texas anti-SLAPP statute.”
In plain sight.
“I wish we were in high school — I could take him behind the gym. That’s what I wish.”
“We regret that the discussion was poorly handled.”
“The once envied school system is in chaos.”
“… stated that he should have handled the referee himself.”
“He told us, and I quote: ‘You need to hit the ref … he needs to pay the price.'”
Come down to Crazy Eddie’s diplomas. We’re giving ’em away!
We declared our independence from Great Britain …. in 1907?!
Rigging the numbers
“…there were people on both sides who seemed ready for a fight”
You may want to grab some cardboard boxes
“Our hearts are in Charlottesville.”