If you want to run over those annoying protesters, move to North Dakota

For the majority of us who live in other parts of the country, we’re simply not used to efficient government that gets things done without all the pesky nuance of the progressive community. Not so in North Dakota, however. These people know how to solve problems.

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All across the country we have seen a dismaying trend over the past few years. Liberal protesters who are not satisfied with simply getting their message out have taken to blocking streets, roads and highways with their bodies. It’s intended to “disrupt the normal order” if you listen to their propaganda. We’ve run into this phenomenon with Black Lives Matter, Occupy Wall Street, environment groups and more. They had the same problem last year in North Dakota with the people trying to shut down the Dakota Access Pipeline. But if a new law just being introduced goes into effect they may not be dealing with it for long. Are protesters blocking the interstate when you’re trying to get home in time for dinner? Simple solution. Run ’em over. (WPTV)

Republican lawmakers in the state introduced a bill last week in the legislature that would not hold motorists liable for negligently running over someone obstructing a roadway. The bill was introduced in response to a year of protests over a proposed pipeline near the Standing Rock Indian Reservation.

“A driver of a motor vehicle who negligently causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway may not be held liable for any damages,” the bill reads. “A driver of a motor vehicle who unintentionally causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway is not guilty of an offense.”

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This is the part where, as a responsible author, I’m supposed to make it clear that I was kidding and of course it’s wrong to go around running people down with your car. But for some reason I’m having a little trouble summoning up the words. First of all, after looking over the wording a bit more carefully, this isn’t actually legislation which makes it legal to go all Mad Max on the protesters and chase them down with your car. That would be, er… I’m going to go with… wrong? It’s packed with caveats about the driver being “negligent” and the the actual running down of annoying jerks had to have been “unintentional.”

But how doe that work in the real world? Who among us hasn’t had their attention briefly waver if you notice something unusual out the side window or start to drift off for a moment because you’re just so bone tired? I mean, when the officers show up to ask you what happened, for all I know you were driving as conscientiously as possible but you only lost your concentration for a minute and then… whump whump. Who could really blame you? It’s a tragedy but accidents do happen.

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Here’s the bottom line. Protests belong on sidewalks, in parks or in other public spaces after obtaining a permit for your activities. That way you’ll have the cops on your side and know that you’ve covered all your bases. If you just decide to show up in a huge mob and shut down the interstate, particularly at night, you never know what sort of bad luck might befall you.

I wonder if we can get this introduced as federal legislation?

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